By Debbie Gisonni 

In the course of an average day, we make hundreds of decisions. In a week, thousands. In a lifetime, hundreds of thousands—ranging from what to wear on a particular day to who to marry for the rest of our life. Granted the daily trivial choices become an invisible backdrop to the more important decisions in life like having a child or choosing a career. Or, to the more emotionally packed ones like getting a divorce or removing life-support for a loved one.

While the big decisions in life are the ones that are remembered most, even the seemingly simple ones can get complicated and time-consuming for many women, especially when we automatically attach an expectation of “right” or “wrong”, forcing us to constantly evaluate whether or not we made the correct choice. Any inkling of doubt can cause tremendous unhappiness.

I have a girlfriend who agonizes over every decision. She once won one of those raffles at a charity event where you go up to a table filled with free stuff and get to pick whatever you want. While she was deciding, three other raffle winners were called, and they naturally picked some of the better gifts. Finally, my friend made a choice (as pickings were getting slim) only to go back to her seat and rethink her decision, including why she should have chosen one of the other gifts!

In discussing decisions vs. choices, another friend of mine said, “Life is so complicated and stressful because we confuse making choices with making decisions. Decisions are made by passing judgment between two or more variables and assigning a right or a wrong in order to make up one’s mind. Choices are a selection—there is no weight or right/wrong assigned to the choice.” When you are deciding between wearing the grey suit or the red dress, you have no way of predicting how wearing one instead of the other will play out that day. Therefore, you are only able to make a selection at that moment.

Yes, there are larger choices in a women’s life that do take some time and thought to make, but once you do make them, it’s important to release your attachment to any outcome, particularly knowing you can’t go back in time. You may decide to change your choice in the future if conditions allow—after all, a Goddess has the right to change her mind—but then again, that’s just another choice you make at that moment in time. If you live your life in a tactical, decision-making battleground, constantly trying to make the perfect decision that will result in your version of success every time, you’ll be guaranteed a lot of blood shed…most of it your own. However, if you perceive life as a series of personal choices, you will realize that every choice you make has a purpose in your life, even those choices that steer you in unpleasant directions. Every failure and every success in life happen at exactly the right time because every choice a Goddess makes is perfect.

5 Ways to Pick Something...Anything:

• Once you make a choice, accept it and move on—don’t keep wondering “what if”.

• Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen from this choice?” It’s usually nothing that can’t be fixed or forgotten about.

• Remember in some cases, you can choose not to make any choice.

• Don’t fall into the “paralysis by analysis” syndrome—you’ll never be able to make any choices if you think too much.

• Don’t assign a right or wrong to every choice—consider them all viable options.

Excerpted from the book: The Goddess of Happiness, A Down-to-Earth Guide for Heavenly Balance and Bliss

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